Yo! lalalala...men~ i haven't written anything for a while o_o
soo...my summer jasn't been going so well coz it suckzzz like s***
basically my dad did me a favour by ruining it for me (: juz great ai?
Im not allowed to go for YouthCamp >:'( && SOOO MANY PEOPLE ARE FRIGGIN GOING!!!
Gosh! coz of the stupid bruises i cant sleep properly coz they f***in hurt too much and i have to be consious of wat i wear or ppl might think im hurting myself or w/e -w-
It's hard to tell find some1 who can understand the sitsution im in and gimme some useful advices instead of telling me to "run away" or "call child abuse"...not tht i dont think it's useful, my family is very complicated as it is and my dad has issues, my mom is juz....well being a mom, my 2 sister dun know better and basically my whole family is messed up and they think im f***in messed up. No1 trust me, im useless, im a dumb brunette in their eyes :D and I have no frends to talk about stuff like this, coz i dun want them to pity me.
Did Mon rly not care about my situation? =\ ever since she said those 3 simple words, it's been haunting me in my sleep...maybe im being a bother to her.
Well yea ppl have better things to do then to hear some1 talk about them being tortured -3- maybe im being a dragggg.
Cooper was cool though, im glad he understood wat was going on, i felt like we could talk about stuff like tht, but i wasn't so sure if i could quite open up to him juz like tht. I think him and the idea of me running away was a bit to rash :P but im glad he understood.
Well 2day i tried not to think about Mon, i told my sister to help me paint my toe nails while i was doing my nails XDD it was quite fun and tiring =o= but at least it got my mind out of stuff. Im so glad my dad left 2day, at least a lil bit of freedom and relaxation.
For now.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
A dream
Haven't written for quite a while, sorry (>_<)''/ been bz wif stuff.
well...i've recently been dreaming the same dream over and over.
It's wif this guy, i dunno he's like blond, curly hair, muscular and tall...but i can never see his face. It's like a mystery. In my dream, it looks like we r couples.
So basically i am in a big garden, im asleepin on this big hammock...i feel the wind, the trees, the flowers& grass(it's like i was connected to it). Sparky and this other Big white dog...which looks like a husky ^-^ was asleep on the hammock wif me, it's like they were guarding me. My "guy" is juz coming home from work or w/e (i dunno)and...OH! i forgot to mention, in my dream, for some reason everything is white...like the clothes im wearing, the hammock....well of course the trees and etc. aren't white...even the house is white! Yea..anyway, my "guy" is waering white too, and damn! even though i cant see his face, his body is like so hot *drools*
Im still asleep on the hammock, my 2 dogs wake up and runs to him and starts licking him. Sooo...he lies in the hammock toooo ( yaay^_^) like face to face wif me and our hands and legs gets tangled (dun ask me how or y, i dunno). After tht he slowly tries to kiss me....and...I FRIGGIN WAKE UP!
i know it sounds corny, but...it's the same dreeam over and over. If im not dreaming abt this, i dont even dream at all...i juz sleep XD Im kinda curious about it, it's alwayz the same dream and the same place where i wake up. I wanna know who is this guy, IMPOSSIBLE! noway in hell can i meet such a hotty, it's sad though...i cant even see his face, all i know he smells like roses and the ocean.
-SIGH- I wanna meet my guy soon, im a 1 guy kinda gurl...it's kinda hard to be pateint, when all ur frendz r gettin boyfrendz...even tiffany lai has one now ):
It even makes it harder when ur frendz try to introduce u to one and encourage u to juz have a bf for experimenting =\
Lately, i've been thinkin whether im lesbo...or something is juz wrong wif my sex appeal, or maybe im giving off the wrong vibe, i look ugly to guyz and only look good to my frendz, dunno hwo to talk normally in front of guyz or im juz not the kind of gurl a guy would want.
I wish he would appear soon, but i dont want any guy~ i want some1 faithful, loyal, stubborn, adorable, understanding, sly,smart and of course...he should love me even if the world starts crumbling.
Heh~ maybe im asking too much, it's not like i deserve some1 so amazing, i rly am asking too much. I hope ppl know how incredibly hard and amazing it is to be in a relationship and still love each other and stay faithful....i juz wish ppl wouldn't break up tht ezily, the least they could do is talk to the other person first!!!
okay, it's late now XDD
im off to bed, nity nite~x
well...i've recently been dreaming the same dream over and over.
It's wif this guy, i dunno he's like blond, curly hair, muscular and tall...but i can never see his face. It's like a mystery. In my dream, it looks like we r couples.
So basically i am in a big garden, im asleepin on this big hammock...i feel the wind, the trees, the flowers& grass(it's like i was connected to it). Sparky and this other Big white dog...which looks like a husky ^-^ was asleep on the hammock wif me, it's like they were guarding me. My "guy" is juz coming home from work or w/e (i dunno)and...OH! i forgot to mention, in my dream, for some reason everything is white...like the clothes im wearing, the hammock....well of course the trees and etc. aren't white...even the house is white! Yea..anyway, my "guy" is waering white too, and damn! even though i cant see his face, his body is like so hot *drools*
Im still asleep on the hammock, my 2 dogs wake up and runs to him and starts licking him. Sooo...he lies in the hammock toooo ( yaay^_^) like face to face wif me and our hands and legs gets tangled (dun ask me how or y, i dunno). After tht he slowly tries to kiss me....and...I FRIGGIN WAKE UP!
i know it sounds corny, but...it's the same dreeam over and over. If im not dreaming abt this, i dont even dream at all...i juz sleep XD Im kinda curious about it, it's alwayz the same dream and the same place where i wake up. I wanna know who is this guy, IMPOSSIBLE! noway in hell can i meet such a hotty, it's sad though...i cant even see his face, all i know he smells like roses and the ocean.
-SIGH- I wanna meet my guy soon, im a 1 guy kinda gurl...it's kinda hard to be pateint, when all ur frendz r gettin boyfrendz...even tiffany lai has one now ):
It even makes it harder when ur frendz try to introduce u to one and encourage u to juz have a bf for experimenting =\
Lately, i've been thinkin whether im lesbo...or something is juz wrong wif my sex appeal, or maybe im giving off the wrong vibe, i look ugly to guyz and only look good to my frendz, dunno hwo to talk normally in front of guyz or im juz not the kind of gurl a guy would want.
I wish he would appear soon, but i dont want any guy~ i want some1 faithful, loyal, stubborn, adorable, understanding, sly,smart and of course...he should love me even if the world starts crumbling.
Heh~ maybe im asking too much, it's not like i deserve some1 so amazing, i rly am asking too much. I hope ppl know how incredibly hard and amazing it is to be in a relationship and still love each other and stay faithful....i juz wish ppl wouldn't break up tht ezily, the least they could do is talk to the other person first!!!
okay, it's late now XDD
im off to bed, nity nite~x
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