I hate ants.

The war broke.
I lost 2 times. I stood my ground and fought till blood shed.
I lost in everyway.
My opponenet has outgrown me, learnt my tactics and killed me.
I lay there defeated, in tears...the pain of my fingers, my head, my heart.
Im once blamed for it all. Im useless, a troublemaker, a nuisence, put it simply...im just an annoying bug that deseves to die.
Hahahaha, it hurts so much that it's becoming funny, I wonder how many times I've heard those words about me. I rather be deaf then hear such things about me.
Oh no...The ants are invading my heart again. What should I do? Their crawling all over it, It's making it hard for me to breath, Im suffocating...I feel dizzy.
I passed out for a moment and I was possessed by something else.
My whole body aches with pain and misery.
I look so ugly, Is it possible to be so young and yet feel so old?
My face is buried under the tears and the pain.
What should I do? Im scared.
Ouch...my fingers hurt, their bleeding.
My hair keeps falling out every 10 second. Im gonna be bald.
I lost again.
The Devil took over.
I finally know the feeling of a sharp object brushing over my weak skin. It's a sweet pain, It feels good.
I have a mark on my wrist now. It's all pink. But for even just a minute, It took me away from my heart ache.
So what if this is a taboo...No one wants me anymore. Im just gooing ot get into more trouble after 2day.
When I wanted to talk to you....where were u?
I had no1 else but you...I felt like you abandoned me. I needed you the most, you were the only one who said such beautiful things about me, when I wanted to hear them the most...They were nowhere to be found.
Ohwell..Shouldn't I be use to this?
Use to not telling any1 about this...use to no1 to talk to...use to hiding my true face. It's repulsive.

Shit. my neck hurts.FUCK! im bleeding again...ARGH! y is my hair falling everytime i brush it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Is this some round i need to pass to see if im ready for the world?
I cant put up with this, I think im gonna lose to myself b4 i come to my senses.



God, I know you love me.
I cant be by ur side.
I have dirtied myself too much.
I sided with the Devil.
Im sorry.

Reborn Once Again

Ahhh! I love the feeling of sleeping, that's when you let down your guard down, it's juz peaceful isn't it?
If I could be any animal...I would probably want to be a Koala, they just sleep and eat and nothing else. How great a life would that be then a human, all the complicated feelings we have, all the ridiculous arguments we bring up, how naive we really r......How repulsive we r.
Waking up is like fallin from Heaven straight down to Hell. I cant fall back to sleep anymore, Why not just let me sleep for another hour to let me dream of the Impossible's?
Oooohh! No wonder, I've been asleep for already 30 Mins since that incident.
I hate waking up...I really do. Especially waking up to the quietness, It's terrifying and puzzling. I have to deal with it, move on and just get over it like i always tell myself to do. How Lonely us humans r, no matter what we do...we're always having the feeling of lonliness and insecurity no? No point telling any1 rite? Coz no1 can understand u better then urself, It makes me sick to think that people understand others...there is no such thing. Ugh! here I go again, I let the shadows within me take over...Wish my smile&laughter could mask my true colours.

New Life (: